The Herman and Missy Show!

Herman and Missy put on a show
Missy was Juliet, and Herman was Romeo!
They danced and they pranced and they wore pretty clothes
And when Mummy took photos they both did a pose

Herman said: "Mummy, I have something to ask -
"Why do some people pretend to love you, and then leave very fast?"
Mummy said: "Herman, I really don't know the answer
"Maybe they prefer the company of exotic slut dancers"

Then Herman hugged Mummy and gave her a kiss
And he said: "I won't leave you, and that's a promise
"I will stay with you, and I will punish bad men
"I will burn all their clothes and take a big marker pen

"I will write on their cars, in very big letters
"YOU CHEATING PIG, YOU FILTHY ADULTERER
"YOU'LL BURN IN HELL WITH YOUR SLAG GIRLFRIEND GWEN
"AND I'LL RIP OFF YOUR BALLS IF I SEE YOU AGAIN."

LoL (lots of love)
Leeanne x

For the Love of Dogs

Here’s one of my early poems – I look back on it now and think "what was I thinking!?#?" but I want to show everyone that you’ve got to start somewhere.
I know, I know – it's not very subtle, but it was a tough time for me back then, and if it wasn’t for my two darlings, Missy and Herman, and for writing, it would have been really hard for me to get through all that.

For the Love of Dogs

I’ve spent years gnawing at your bone.
Yet here I am.
Alone.

My life has turned into one big
Game of fetch

And so
I return to your doghouse.
Where I walk around and around
But never settling.

There’s no use trying
I feel like crying
Inside I’m dying

I am off your leash
with no hint of shmacko.

Or
Good-o.


And that's it!

LoL (Lots of Love)

Leeanne x.

Missy's Itch

Poor little Missy had an itchy itch behind her ear
I said "Poor little Missy, won't you come to Mummy dear?
"I'll treat you good, and treat you nice
"And use some cream for doggy lice."
Missy's pretty little tail was flipping and flapping in the sunshine
As she ran to me and jumped up and sat in this lap of mine
I applied the treatment to make her feel so good and goofy
So she could run around and play and be a little woofy.
And as I finished up and said "There you go, my sweet"
She turned her face towards me, and then began to speak.
Missy said: "Oh thank you thank you Mummy, for fixing my itchy ear
"I don't think I could have done it if you were not here
"I promise now I will protect you just as long as I'm around
"And if I see your ex-husband I will bite his face and his balls and leave him dying on the ground."

LoL
Leeanne x

Hello!

Hello everybody. I'm Leeanne, and this is my poetry site!
I don't have any poems to put up at the moment, but don't worry - I'll put some up soon!

LoL (Lots of Love)

Leeanne